How I Magically Messed Up My Life in Four Freakin’ Days by Megan O’Russell

Not all wizards were born to be heroes.

Things not to do when you find out you’re a wizard:

#1 Do not destroy your apartment with magical fire. You WILL NOT get the security deposit back.

#2 Do not form an alliance with the guy who is trying to murder you. This will end badly.

#3 Do not drag the girl you’re desperately in love with into your wizard mess. You risk her watching you fail miserably.

#4 Under no circumstances should you get in the middle of an epic magical battle. Death will happen. Lots of death and bad things.